postcard-like

 

There have been numerous times when I envisioned a postcard-like life, one that embodies beauty and symmetry amidst chaos and despair.

I teach children and young ones, and I often catch myself sharing glimpses of the intricacies of life with them. We explore concepts of transitions, changes, simplicity, extravagance, conflicts, and resolutions through stories, shared experiences, actual events, and the everyday happenings in the classroom or in their families. There's joy, with an offering of reality.

Just like in the garden, I opted for something structural, something of symmetry and order. I came to enjoy creating bonsai-like arrangements and savored their cleanliness and line movements. However, there are many things that cannot be controlled, and after some years, the garden became chaotic, with some leaves growing huge, climbers rapidly taking over spaces, and interlocking branches defining what the garden looks like now. It’s as if there is disorder amidst order.

All the morning greetings and smiles I share are not always accompanied by a happy heart. It becomes a routine—something I am teaching but want to practice without any real emotion. It is sad, but days are always different. And when the days are good, the heart flutters.

I always desire a simple life, free from the dramas of struggling to live and survive. I want fluidity in life that flows like the water found in a brook or a river. I just want to float without any of those barriers found in water. I long for a quiet life, truly, not one that masks my frustrations and regrets with a smile.