beauty and solitude

When I captured the vibrant colors of those magnificent flowers, my mind danced with thoughts of candies, plastic bubbles, and even candy floss. The dramatic hues made this one of my favorite photographs from my visit to a garden in Chiang Rai two years ago.

As I revisited these photographs, I was reminded of the diverse tapestry of people that surrounds us. Some shine brightly within a crowd, while others, like me, tend to fade into the background.I’ve never been a fan of large gatherings—be it meetings, parties, or any sort of assembly. I find solace in the company of a small group of wonderful friends, those I admire, and those who share my interests.

At parties, I often become the quiet observer, content to sit in a corner and watch the lively scene unfold. My gaze is drawn to the boisterous and captivating individuals, as well as those who speak their minds with vibrant passion. I find myself fascinated by their clothing and mannerisms, and even the quieter souls catch my attention. It’s akin to strolling through a garden, choosing your favorite scents and colors.

Over the years, I've lost many opportunities due to my silence, and I carry some regrets. My hesitance to accept invitations, often citing a 'busy' schedule, has taken a toll on my happiness. Each decline has added to a growing sense of despair.

Though I may find myself surrounded by a sea of beautiful flowers, I often feel like the lone weed—insignificant amidst the grandeur. For now, I navigate through life, passing the time and waiting for the universe to reveal my purpose.