Present, Past, Present

One night, I was having a panic attack as I witnessed something from the present that was very true of my past. Someone was very mad and had been throwing things all over. The man was furious because he was asked to quit smoking around people. He became aggressive and started throwing glasses and ceramic all over. He was drunk and smoking as he was charging expletives.

The whole scene reminded me of home when my father would be angry for petty things either to my mum, to me or to my siblings. I remember when I was much younger when I was strangled by a small towel because I accidentally left open the freezer door, and my dad bumped his head. I also remembered being asked to buy acid water so that he could splash the liquid to my mum’s face during an argument. I still recall how my siblings would be carrying chairs in their arms while being beaten by a stick for failing an exam in school. 

With what I was seeing, all the memories of the past came rushing in and I cried so much. When I went to bed that night, I prayed for my mum’s guidance to look after me. Since I was very exhausted emotionally, I fell asleep quickly.

Then I was transported to a scene where I was trying frantically to call someone for help using a rotary phone.  I was dialing six digits which was the common number combination of old phones. I was in my own home but I called my mum and she wasn't there. It was a dream. I wasn’t able to talk to her but I knew that she heard me.

I woke up that morning feeling very tired. The only consolation I got was that I could reconnect with my mum, whom I knew was there watching me. Even at this age, I still long for the presence of my mum whom I now consider my guardian angel. 

I am in the now, transported to the past, and brought back in the present.