I Am Intimidated By You

“I am intimidated by you”

I often hear this, with new meetings or with old acquaintances. Their image of me is that I am unapproachable and difficult to read. 

When I was in a big group of people and it was my first time meeting them, I was very quiet. Not that I play hard to get, or talk with, but because I am not comfortable being in a big group. I was introduced to someone and learned that he also works out of the country, that became our common point. We were flying on the same day and same flight so we decided to sit with each other. And in our conversation he said, I am intimidated by you.

When I started working as a teacher in a Chinese preschool, I met another teacher who became a close friend through the years.  She saw how I was against many of the rules of the school and how we were treated unfairly regarding hours and salaries.  When I left the school and went far away, I met my friend again after so many years and she said, "I am intimidated by you."

While working in a big company as a translator, I met a few people whom I wanted to be close with but the administrator of the company stopped me from mingling with the production staff and workers.  I was assigned to walk around the premises and report to the administration who among the workers were not doing their jobs properly.  I left the company because I do not want to be in that position.  I remembered someone in the production staff telling me, "I'm intimidated by you."

Lastly, among many more related stories, a colleague from school was speaking with me about teaching and lo and behold, she said out of the blue, "I'm intimidated by you."

So in one of my daily reflections, I am thinking that the reason why they said they were intimidated by me was because of my work ethics.  I am more into the process but big on results.  The intimidation comes from comparison but this should not be as we are all different.  Maybe because I am also a deep thinker and tend to be silent among a group.  Maybe I look fierce (I heard this from someone) and scary (This one too isa common comment). The thing is, nobody, as in nobody, knows the real me, so they are intimidated by what they see, or hear.

I am a friendly person, really, if I like you. (insert laughter)